I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
Randomize
