Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
The little girl I babysit saw pink plastic shot glasses in my car and asked what they were for and I told her they were princess teacups.
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
is that a dick in a sweater?
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
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