Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
We're in ER. He's high on morphine and I'm drunk. Gonna score some bed pans for jello shots.
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
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