I kiss like a newly born barfing kangaroo
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
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