I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
Don't worry, your car is safe with me. I am throwing watermelons out of it at mailboxes and hipster kids.
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
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