Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
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