I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
sarcasm needs its own font
I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
Randomize
