America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
Randomize
