I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
So I just went to clothing optional bar
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
Randomize
