mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
I cockslap morals
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
He wanted to watch a Charlie Brown thanksgiving. But I was like, fuck that, I'm a grown up. So we watched jumanji and I sucked his dick.
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
Randomize
