I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
Randomize