Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
50% drunk capacity currently
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
