And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
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