Hey theres a creepy ass guy stalking our house.i would look alive geting in 2nite.
i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
My life is a joke. Told everyone last night that they could call me Mrs. McCormick because I'm gonna end up alone with a handle of peach vodka anyways.
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
New guy at the liquor store was inexplicably fascinated by our huge jug of williams. First he said what are you gonna mix THAT with? and looked confused when I said air.
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
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