Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
Randomize
