Never write on a napkin "my face, your boobs" with your phone number and give it to a girl. Just a tip of the day from my nightly experiences lol.
We need to hang out more often
i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
Randomize
