In America we eat man semen.
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
it's like heaven, but drunker
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
I just found out that there's a bar that has happy hour at 12 pm. It's like the universe doesn't want me to be sober
Randomize