i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
The shit I just took was my body's way of telling me bourbon and mixed nuts aren't an appropriate dinner. Well played, colon. WELL. PLAYED.
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
I just had to explain to a 5 year old why I had fuzzy handcuffs hidden in a macaroni box under my bed.
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
this morning's inventory: a top hat, two empty bottles of everclear, half a slim jim, cigars, tiara, pot necklace, and some fishnets. and that's just my purse.
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
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