butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
Can you please check on Jay? He just called and left a Backstreet Boys song on my voicemail. Either it's 1998, or someone needs to go back to rehab.
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
how do you say “i know we haven’t hung out in a month, but i gave myself an amazing orgasm to your picture the other day” without coming on too strong
Randomize
