hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
Randomize
