Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
Randomize
