you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
He told me they were just razor bumps!
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
Did you finish that presentation yet?
No but don’t worry about it. I do my best work in the middle of the night. I’m like a hamster.
Randomize
