how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
Neighbor who got arrested at 3am just said he'd split the $ with me if I testify as the witness in his police brutality trial. He was also holding a baby and a case of beer.
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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