Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
My aunt just said- "pizza is like sex. Even if it ain't good it ain't bad." Obviously she doesn't know us too well.
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
Gonna post on craigs list missed connections - "I was that really drunk bitch that threw up in your car. I'd like to pay for detailing"
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
Just heard a girl ask "Wait you're not my boyfriend?!" to a guy wearing the Mickey to her Minnie Mouse on my way home. Made me feel better about myself.
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
Randomize
