whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
my dad is drunk dialing our relatives who are stuck in a blizzard asking them to pick up sun tan lotion for him cause hes too drunk to drive to the store.
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
Today I met the neighbor that shares my bedroom wall. When I pointed out my unit, he said, "Oh, that's you? Oh... that's you." I didn't think much of it until I was in bed tonight and I heard him clear his throat. He's. Heard. Everything.
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
Randomize
