Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
Randomize
