the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
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