Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
We are a team. I lure them in with my tits, feed them enough alcohol to consider homosexuality, and hand them off to you.
You're the best wingman ever.
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
Do you know who changed all my phone contacts into characters from Harry Potter?
He Who Must Not Be Named.
Fuck you.
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
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