Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
Just had the moment before I realised I'd packed you off in an ambulance last night after funnel-feeding you Monster and vodka. Your mom thinks I'm a dick doesn't she?
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
Randomize
