he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
i used baking grease as lip gloss
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
Randomize
