Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
Blow job in a bar bathroom for my Thing 1 while in a onezie dressed up as Thing 2. Best Halloween ever.
I bet the Cat in the Hat never caused mischief like that.
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
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