I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
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