I can't sleep so instead I'm thinking of all the things I would love to do to you right now
That's weird, I usually just count sheep
Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
Randomize
