It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
Randomize