No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
as i was trying not to drunkingly fall off her toliet, i noticed her socks laying there. i quickly grabbed them, ran upstairs, and excitingly asked her if she had gotten them at sams club. she replied with, "...those are your socks."
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
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