FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
Just zoned back in to real life and found myself chanting "noodle eater noodle eater noodle eater" at my parrot as he devoured a single macaroni
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
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