You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
I'm disproportionately drunk. But I also spelled disproportionately right twice so maybe I'm not that drunk
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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