evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
Can't decide which I like more. Telling a girl she's pregnant or telling her she has herpes. It's the little things that make medicine tolerable.
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
You can't break up with me. I brought you to see Beyoncé.
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
Randomize
