Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
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