As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
Randomize
