i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
Can you please stop fucking every bartender in the city? Just once I want to have a Jack and Coke without fielding questions about your availability.
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
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