I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
Note to self: when drunk try to remember that ctrl, alt and dance doesnt exist on a keyboard.
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
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