be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
It was his birthday this weekend. I had to carry him 6 blocks, in 3 inch heels. The entire time he was trying to molest me, eat my face, and try to stop every two feet to tie his shoe. He would light a cigarette, forget about it, almost burn everyone, throw it out, then decide he wanted to smoke. He kept repeating that he trusts me with his life.
...Wow...
I could be a kindergarten teacher
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
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