Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
I’m home. Please don’t call me unless you have an arterial bleed or you’re on fire. Love you 😘
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
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