i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
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