This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
Changing from sweatpants to jeans at 3 in the afternoon makes the day seem so much more productive than it actually was.
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
He snapchatted me the wine on the ceiling this morning
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
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