i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
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