I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
Randomize