Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
I wonder how many people saw me whip my junk out and bang it on the light post in front of holabird bar and liquors last night. I'm about tired of having to do that.
Nobody saw you except the people in the bar, because you weren't outside. You were inside, and you were smacking it on the mens bathroom door handle
I really hate whoever invented fireball.
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
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