My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
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