Is it normal to miss your booty call?
i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
Randomize
