please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
Randomize