I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
i just checked to make sure valentines day this year was on a weekend assuming ill want to be drunk all day
hearing about your life makes me feel so good about mine
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
Randomize
