dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
Look, I'm just saying, she looks like a troll and works indefinitely at a shitty Chinese restaurant, so me sleeping with her boyfriend is the least of her troubles...
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
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