sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
he sent me this 10 second long video of a gorilla eating a banana on my phone. no explanation. I didn't even have his number. just. a gorilla eating a banana.
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
Randomize
