No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
Randomize
