Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
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