How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
I didn't think moms care packages could get better than greygoose, weed & double stuffed oreos, but she just snet me a chocolate bar full of mushrooms.
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
The sun is gonna brush it's hairy dick across my forehead in the morning, gently whispering: "you're 4 hours late for work"
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
Trouble in the neighborhood - turns out my brother's summer lawn care gig also entailed banging three different MILFs and they just all found out about each other
Gotta pay for college somehow...
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
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